The Priority Ball

What are my priorities?

This question has always conflicted me.
There are things I’ve felt like I’m supposed to say and in a certain order based on what’s most important.
You know…God, family, self.

But, there’s something seriously wrong with this thinking.
It seems noble and altruistic.

That’s what a nice, patriotic, Christian, good boy citizen should say.
It makes me very uneasy, though.
The fact is that there are multiple tracks in terms of priorities running at the same time, and they are inextricable from each other.
In reality, my priorities are and should be…
Myself, my wife and kids, my parents, my siblings, nieces, and nephews…

Then, there’s this thing of money.
Everything I look at in terms of what I want to be, do, and have has one common denominator.
An undeniable need for large amounts of money to make it happen.

Like, I can’t get away from that.
It’s there.
Ever-present.

None of us can if we’re honest with ourselves.
I’m just being 100% real.
No bullshit.
My priorities are more of a ball that’s made up of money, health, self, wife and kids, mom and dad, siblings, nieces and nephews, etc.
But the composition of it changes.
And, right now, it’s very heavy toward the money side.
Because I need a lot of it now to be, do, and have a lot of things.
The reason is that to this point in my life, I’ve put everyone else first.
And, I’ve lived with personal deficits in many ways.
Vacuums can’t exist forever.
They must be filled.
When that happens, the priority ball makeup changes.
It gets out of balance for a while.
But that’s the process of seeking equilibrium.

It will find its way.